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Drowning me in my dreams...
chapter 1- I'm not who you think I am
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I was so mad because I wasn't able to go to the Good Charlotte concert when they were in my home town. I HAD to work that night-- there was no exeption for it because both of the other girls that ussually work with me at the guitar shop were "sick". I bet they were faking sick just so that they could go to the Good Charlotte concert and that left just me even if i was sick or not I HAD to work. So I sat on the chair behind the counter and propped my feet up on the counter waiting for any customers.. and there were none because anyone who was anybody was at that concert.. AND I WASN'T! Why have buisness on a concert night anyways? I knew no one would come by anyways! This was horrible. So I pulled up the new issue of Rolingstone and started to read the article on GC anyways. Then I finally got a COSTOMER! A man walked in with long black hair and slick expensive sunglasses on. He wore A nice level 27 shirt with a rose entangling the words. He had on nice black pants and boots. His fingernails were painted black..I put down my magazine slightly and my hair was cut short-- It was long enuf in the front to touch my lips, but it was cut short and spiked in the back. I had on a black level 27 shirt with fisnet armsleeves under the shirt, black pants, and black boots.

gurl- can I help you sir?

guy- I need a whole new guitar and fast.

He sounded panic stricken.

gurl- oh, well, I don't know-- umn what kind of guitars are you interested in, sir?

guy- I need a PRS and fast.

gurl- wow, you are so lucky.. there is only one PRS left and, it's blue -- we need to get more in stock.

guy- how much?

gurl- well PRS is a top brand so if your looking for something cheap, your not going to want to get PRS. This particular one is 2,500.

guy- oh ok that's not too much.

I looked at him buggy eyed. That's not too much?! Heck that's almost the most expensive guitar in the whole shop... I didn't know what to say.. this guy must be rich or something. I went to the back and picked up a packaged one and put it on the counter. I turned on the cd player in boredome. I had in a GC c-d. I started to quietly sing along.

gurl- ok then that will be 2,500 as I said.

He pulled out a wad of money and counted it out exactly. He handed me the money.

guy- so you like Good Charlotte?

gurl- yeah they're my favorite band ever, well, next to AFI. I would've went to that concert tonight but I had to work. I don't know why I had to work tonight-- you're the only customer that I have got all night.

guy- if I tell you something you promise to god that you won't freak out?

gurl- ok.....

guy- you are so lucky that you didn't get to go to that concert.

gurl- yeah rite, and besides, why would that freak me out?

guy- no really.. do you know that you just saved the whole concert?

gurl- I did? how in the hell did I do that?

He slipped off the long black hair and the sunglasses. It was none other than Billy Martin that I had been talking to this whole time. I didn't scream or go crazy I just looked at him amazed. I guess I WAS lucky that I didn't get to go. I saved the concert for being there or Billy wouldn't have a guitar for the concert.

Billy- yeah but you know.. I better get going, I bet the crowds are going nuts because we're not on. You want an autograph or something? I feel bad that you don't get to be there.

gurl- naww you get that everyday. I'm not like everyone else, so just go ahead I'm sure the crowds are starting a moshpit rampage by now.

I laughed a little.

gurl- I hope that that PRS works for you. That was my favorite guitar in the shop. I'd always practice with that style. It's a good guitar.

Billy- Thanx.. you know I think you should come to the concert.

gurl- I don't have a ticket o I have no way of getting in.

Billy- what's your name?

gurl- Tish. Why?

Billy- you tell the guy at the gate who takes tickets your name-- he'll let you in.. I'll be sure of it-- see you there.

He slipped on the glasses and the long black wig.

Tish- thanx.. alot.. that relly means alot to me Billy.

Billy- aww no problem-- anything for the fans.. anything.

He walked out of my guitar shop-- but thanx to him it wasn't the last time I saw him. I went to the concert a 3 minuets later. I closed down the shop-- I would explain it to my boss later. I ran as fast as I could so that I didn't have to miss one more minuet of the concert. I ran and ran until I got to the ticket stand.

TSM- ticket please.

Tish- URM, my name is Tish I think I'm supposed to get in free.

TSM- oh yeah, Tish! Billy said something about you.. you can go ahead. Thank you for the emergency guitar.

Tish- oh yeah no problem.

Then I did the weirdest thing. I scratched my head like it was nothing even tho I knew it meant the world to me, and I blushed a deep red. I didn't have to have anyone tell me, my face felt hott, I knew I was blushing. I walked thru the gate and the sound of "bloody valentine" filled my ears."I don't know much at all and I  I don't know wrong from right , all I know is that I love you tonight....." Joel kept singing.. I heard his nice voice. I walked all the way in and I was way in the back of the moshpit and I had to make my way thru the crowds, I had to, I just had to-- I had to see Billy again-- close up as possible and he said he hoped to see me again.. even tho is was just in a fanly way, but he did say it so I was going to let him see me and when was thinking of a way to see him, I got picked up and the next thing I knew, I was crowd surfing.. and I was moving even closer to the stage.Then they set me down lightly and I was rite next to the stage. I could touch part of the stage, and Joel sort of leaned down and I jumped up a bit and managed to touch his hand. It was soft, really really soft. It was an honor to touch Joel's hand.Then I shifted my vision to the right. There was Benji singing back-up vocals and playing his Ernie ball lead guitar. Paul was standing somewhere near him and I saw him jamming out on his bass but I didn't know what brand he was playing and the there was chris behind them and he was bangin on his drums-- the excitement filled in me as I shifted my vision to the left of the stage. There was Billy on the PRS that he just bought at my shop. It was a nice guitar, I wish that I could afford to buy one. He had wads of money to pay for it. That didn't matter to me though, because at that second I looked into his eyes and it looked like he was looking directly at me but I knew that he wasn't, he was probably looking at all of his great fans, but just for one second I pretended that he was looking at me. Then the song slowly ended.

Joel- Hey, Minnesota how are you all doing?!

Alot of ppl screamed, I screamed.

Joel- scream if your having a good time!

More ppl screamed. I screamed.

Joel- All rite then let's get this show going! With an older song.

He started to sing "little things" with Benji as the rest of them including Benj played the intro music.

Benj- OoOoOoh OoOoOh

Joel- Remember when we got free lunch and the cool kids beat us up?

Benj- REDUCED LUNCH!

Joel- The rich kids had convertables and we had to ride the bus.

Benj- 55!

Joel- like the time we made the baseball team but they still laughed at us.

Benj- YOU STILL SUCK!

Joel- like the time that gurl broke up with me cause I wasn't cool enuf.

Benj- TRICK!

B&J- Things... Things... HERE WE GO! the little things the little things they always hang around, the little things try to break me down little things they just won't go away the little things little things make me who I am today, oh, you wanna hate me now cause I wont stop now cause I can't stop now..

I listened and knew every word because Good Charlotte were gods to me. Mostly billy though. I loved him with all of my heart but there was no way that he would, or could love me back because he was famous, and I was a fan, that's just the way that this realationship with bands had to be, there was no way that a mere fan and a punk/goth guitarist could be one together. Specialy a band like this. Life really took it's toll when it had to. It was crazy that that's the way it had to be but it had to be this way and I was lost in a train of thought as I looked into Billy's beautiful light brown eyes. I could'nt really see his eyes from the distance I was away,  but I had looked at pictures of those melting chocolate eyes on paper or my computer screen many, many times before this moment, and his eyes seemed to glow back at the shop whe I had looked into them. They were so nice looking. I had been staring into Billy's eyes for so long that I hadn't noticed that the concert was over and everyone was leaving. I shook myself out of it and began to wander back to the door, where everyone else was going. Until I heard a familliar voice.

voice- HEY TISH!

It was a man's voice and I was hoping it was billy, it wasn't but I was damn close. Paul ran up to me.

Paul- Hey tish- do you wanna hang out with us for a while?

I just looked at him.

Tish- ahhh, sure if you wanna hang out with a wack fan like me.. go right on ahead.

Paul- your not half as bad as some of the groupies out there, don't mind me, I love all of my fans, but some of them are way too close to being teenie bopper groupies... that's scary

Tish- yeah when I get my band going I wanna be an underground band so that all of those teenie boppers will be watching MTV waiting for new bands and I will be rocking where they can't find me. Either that or be so different sounding like AFI that htey won't want to listen to us. Only ppl who really appreciate us will be there by our sides.

Paul- wow, you think things through alot don't you?

Tish- well, you always have to think of the good and bad in situations and if you work things out in your head you can't go wrong, well you can but if you do it's usualy not your fault that things turned up the way that they did.

Paul- WOAH, most fans would be too panic stricken to even talk to me let alone tell me exactly how they feel.

tish- well, paul, the way I see it your just a normal guy, in a band, with alot of money. Not that big of a deal, of course it is an honor talking to you because you are the greatest bassist that ever lived, but I don't get panic stricken that easily.

Paul- I wouldn't say the BEST bassit in the world but I'm pretty good.

At the thought of that I laughed. I was here talking to paul but all I could think of was Billy.

Paul- well come on backstage.

My eyes lit up and I wanted to scream with joy, but I knew it wasn't neccesary because I had to keep my cool. I wasn't going to be like everyone else, and then the words popped into my head."you, don't wanna be just like you..." I laughed at the thought of not trying to be like everyone else at a good charlotte concert led to a good charlotte song. I followed paul backstage and passed the security guard and I looked back as all of the obsessed fans tryed to get backstage and I didn't even have to try, I was just led by Paul, but then suddenly a thought occured to me, How in the hell did Paul know my name?

Tish- so Paul- how do you know my name?

paul- umn- billy told me.

tish- billy? why would Billy care- I'm just another fan he met on the street.

paul- yeah but billy said you'd be an awesome person to hang out with so I  found you in the crowd and decided to bring you backstage.

tish- oh well... ok then.

Paul opened the door for me and I walked in.

joel- is this the famed Tish?

tish- uh excuse me? famed?

joel- nevermind, inside joke.

tish- inside joke? about me?

joel- ahh, nevermind. Hey let's give you a tour.

He laughed his cute laugh.

joel- ok so obviously, I'm Joel Madden. I know you know you know all of us but I'm going to introduce you to us anyways.

He smiled. Joel was the cute one. He was so adorable. He was even more adorable in person.

joel- so yeah- I'm joel and this is my twin Benji Madden!

He grabbed Benji and put him into headlock and gave him a noogie.

benj- joel, joel, joel, Joel.... JOEL!!!

joel- yeah?

benj- your messing up the hair!

joel- oh I'm sorry, am I messing up your hair Benji?

He noogied him harder, then let go. Benji fell on the ground.

benj- jeez  joel.

He got up and crossed his arms and glared at joel.

joel- yeah ok and that's Paul, obviously cause you talked to him. He led you here.. yeah duh.. I know.

He laughed and squenched his eyes a bit.

joel- and that's..

he looked twards the video game console and the tv.

joel- ok, where did Peanut Butter Boy go?

paul- billy was just there playing some racing game. I don't know where he went.

A small man walked in.

sm- uhm erm-- the fans demand an encore. You guys gotta get back out there.

paul- that would be great except for one little problem.

sm- you can fix that after the show.

joel- billy's...

sm- I don't care how billy feels now get out there.

He shoved the ernie ball at benji and paul's guitar at him, and the PRS at me.

sm- yeah youre right. Billy does look shorter.. are you coming down with something?

I was going to answer that I wasn't billy, I was just a fan that wanted to look like him. He didn't give me enough time to say anything.

sm- yeah um ok whatever ,Billy. NOW GET OUT THERE!

He pushed all five of us out there, me,benj,chris,paul,and joel.

joel- uhhn, hi all of you proud ahh GC fans. We have an ann0ouncement to make. Billy went out to ahh eat, yeah he's eating right now so ahh his friend tish will be playing till he get's back-- don't boo, don't boo now cause she's a good guitar player and billy will be back shortly so don't you worry.

The small man heard that over the loud speaker and looked closer at me. He noticed that I was not only billy but that I was a girl. his beleifs were that a woman should not be behind a guitaror a set of drums for that matter. He looked furious. If this were an anime show his ears would be steaming. I was scared. i hated playing in front of ppl . I only play on my own time. Not only that but I knew ppl were going to be sizing me up to billy and saying things like "oh my god I wish that Billy was here, this girl sucks."

I felt so ashamed allready. what if I messed up?

I didn't have time to think about things like this because before I knew it... Paul and Benji were starting the beginning chords to "change" and joel started to sing. Chris beat his drums slowly and softly. That was where I came in. I started to play the chords and they came out purified. i had never heard myself play so loud. The amp was huge.I couldn't beleive the sound I heard it was AHHH... It was soothing. I knew the chords because I worked at a guitar shop so i messed around with guitars all day.I was a huge GC fan so of course I took the time to learn GC songs. Thank god "change was one of them. We played three songs after that. "lifestyles of the rich and the famous" "east caost anthem" and "the click"

it was over. Finally over. But I wanted to go on forever. i love the amplified sound of the beloved PRS that I knew in the shop.

I walked backstage and there he was, Billy.Joel and Benj and Paul and Chris followed me. I just looked at Billy. I had his guitar hanging by my waist by the guitar strap. I just took it off and handed it to him. He grabbed the guitar from my hands, lifted it over his head and smashed it on the hard floor. I looked at the smashed PRS on the floor. I almost cried. I woauld have worked for years just to earn enough money to get a guitar like that nd he just smashed it on the foor like it was nothing.I lloked up at him with cold eyes. I turned around right then and there and walked out of the backstage door. so many screaming fans were trying to get passed the guard and I just walked passed him. this was so weird because for the first time in my life. People wanted my autograph- but I wasn't in the mood after what I just saw.